About Me: Finding Peace Through Presence
Hi, I’m David Vivas, the founder of Presence Without Practice. Nearly 20 years ago, I was introduced to the idea of peace through presence. At the time, I was carrying an immense burden—a deep secret I didn’t know how to name or fully understand. It’s hard to believe now, but that secret gripped my life and caused profound suffering for me and those around me. I felt the feelings but didn’t allow myself to truly acknowledge them. I was, and am, gay.
For years, I tried to live a spiritual life according to what I believed my religion, my family, and my community expected of me. In this madness, I convinced myself that the "right" thing to do was to marry a woman I was dating. Eventually, we had three amazing children together. But the truth was, I was living a lie—one that was killing me and making my family unhappy. I became 60 pounds overweight, and by the age of 37, I had a heart attack. It was a wake-up call for both my wife and me, and we eventually decided to separate.
Even then, I kept trying to force myself into a mold that didn’t fit. I found a gay-friendly church, hoping it would provide the peace I longed for. I even tried ex-gay therapy at the urging of a minister—ten years of it during my marriage. That experience was eye-opening because I never met anyone in that national group, Exodus, who had actually changed from gay to straight. The participants all spoke of suppressing their feelings but never of being "cured."
Then one day, a dear friend introduced me to the writings of Eckhart Tolle, and everything changed. For the first time, I found hope and relief. Tolle’s message was clear: There is no right or wrong way to get present. When you are ready, enter presence from wherever you are. It was liberating. It was the first time I realized that I didn’t have to strive or struggle to be “right”—I just had to be.
At first, practicing presence felt like an exercise, much like lifting weights at the gym. Sometimes my ego would take over, resisting the challenges of the moment. Other times, I could clear my mind and get fully present, only to lose it again shortly after. But the more I practiced, the easier and more natural it became. Over time, I reached a point where I was present more often than not. I learned to live life moment by moment, giving my full attention to what was happening and who I was with right now.
It wasn’t an easy journey. It took years of trial, error, and study. I explored countless other approaches to living a life of acceptance and presence, but many of them required decades of practice to achieve lasting results. That’s when I began to develop my own process, combining the best tools and insights I’d learned. Using hypnosis and a unique flowchart approach, I discovered a way to accelerate the ability to get and stay present without decades of struggle. That’s how Presence Without Practice was born.
There is so much more I want to share with you—stories of how presence has saved my life, the lessons I’ve learned along the way, and the techniques that can help you find peace too. I’ll post these stories on my blog, hoping they resonate with some of you. I don’t share them to suggest that my suffering was greater than yours—far from it. Every person’s pain is unique, and your suffering, like mine, has led you here. That’s the key. It is often through our greatest challenges that we become ready to hear and learn about the power of living in the moment.
If you’re ready to end the pain and suffering in your life and discover the transformative power of presence, I’m here to help. Together, we can accelerate your journey to peace, clarity, and fulfillment. Welcome to Presence Without Practice. Let’s begin.
What Is the Practice of Presence?
The practice of presence is a transformative approach to life that centers around fully experiencing the current moment. It’s about tuning into the now, rather than letting your mind dwell on the past or project into the future. At its core, presence means letting go of mental chatter and embracing what is happening in this very moment, without judgment or resistance.
Presence isn’t about ignoring responsibilities or avoiding planning; rather, it’s about engaging with life as it unfolds. By focusing your awareness on the present, you can connect deeply with yourself, others, and the world around you.
The practice often involves techniques like mindfulness, meditation, and body awareness. But the beauty of presence is that it doesn’t require any particular religious belief or spiritual framework. It’s universally accessible to anyone willing to explore it. In fact, the more you engage with presence, the more natural and effortless it becomes—a way of being rather than something you have to strive for.
Presence allows us to break free from the endless loop of overthinking, worrying, and regretting. It opens the door to a life filled with clarity, peace, and true connection.
How the Practice of Presence Can Improve Your Life
Learning to live in the present moment can profoundly enhance your life. When you’re present, you’re no longer caught up in the mental noise of past regrets or future anxieties. This shift has a ripple effect, touching every aspect of your existence.
Improved Mental Clarity: Presence reduces the mental clutter that clouds your thinking, allowing you to make clearer, more thoughtful decisions.
Reduced Stress and Anxiety: Most stress stems from worrying about what might happen or ruminating on what has already occurred. By staying present, you can approach challenges with calm and focus.
Enhanced Emotional Resilience: Presence helps you process emotions in real time, preventing them from building up or overwhelming you.
Greater Joy: Simple moments become extraordinary when you’re fully present. Whether it’s savoring a meal, listening to music, or watching a sunset, presence makes life richer.
Living in the present moment doesn’t mean ignoring your goals or responsibilities. It means approaching them with full awareness and intention, rather than allowing your mind to sabotage your efforts.
How Presence Can Improve Your Life Professionally, Personally, and Beyond
The practice of presence has wide-reaching benefits, impacting every facet of your life. Here’s how it can transform key areas:
1. Professional Life:
Better Focus: Presence enhances your ability to concentrate, leading to improved productivity and creativity.
Reduced Burnout: By staying mindful, you can manage stress and prevent work-related exhaustion.
Improved Communication: Presence allows you to listen attentively and respond thoughtfully, fostering better relationships with colleagues and clients.
2. Personal Relationships:
Deeper Connections: When you’re present, you truly see and hear your loved ones, strengthening your bonds.
Reduced Conflict: Presence helps you respond to situations calmly rather than reacting emotionally, leading to healthier interactions.
3. Self-Growth:
Enhanced Self-Awareness: Presence allows you to observe your thoughts and behaviors without judgment, fostering personal growth.
Greater Peace: Letting go of past baggage and future worries creates space for inner tranquility.
By incorporating presence into your daily life, you’ll find that everything—from work to relationships to personal growth—becomes more fulfilling.
The History of Living in the Moment
The idea of living in the moment has deep roots in human history. Many spiritual and philosophical traditions emphasize the importance of presence as a pathway to peace and enlightenment.
Buddhism: Central to Buddhist teachings is the concept of mindfulness, or "sati," which encourages living fully in the present.
Hinduism: Practices like yoga and meditation focus on uniting the mind and body in the now.
Christianity: The Bible teaches about the importance of trusting God and focusing on today: “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself” (Matthew 6:34).
Taoism: Taoist philosophy embraces the natural flow of life and emphasizes living in harmony with the present.
These ancient teachings remind us that presence is not a new idea but a timeless truth. The challenge is bringing this wisdom into our modern, fast-paced lives.
Don’t Let Your Thoughts Control You
Your mind is a powerful tool, but it’s not meant to control you. All too often, we let our thoughts dictate our feelings and actions, creating unnecessary stress and suffering. The truth is, you are not your thoughts. You are the observer of those thoughts.
When you let your thoughts control you, you become a prisoner of your mind. Worries about the future, self-criticism, and negative judgments can consume your energy and keep you stuck in cycles of stress.
The practice of presence teaches you to step back and observe your thoughts without getting entangled in them. By doing so, you reclaim your power and create space for calm and clarity. Remember: your thoughts are just mental constructs. They don’t define you.
The Futility of Living in the Past or Future
The past is gone. The future has not yet arrived. The only moment that exists is now. Yet, so many of us live our lives in the shadows of what was or what might be, robbing ourselves of the peace and power available in the present.
Dwelling on the past can lead to regret and guilt, while worrying about the future creates anxiety and fear. Neither offers solutions—only suffering. When you focus on the now, you gain the clarity and strength to handle whatever challenges life presents.
Presence isn’t about ignoring the past or failing to plan for the future. It’s about anchoring yourself in the reality of this moment, which is the only time you can truly act. When you live in the now, you’ll find that you’re capable of meeting life’s challenges with grace and resilience.